This is the English translation of the suicide note from the eminent Viennese biologist, Paul Kammerer (1880-1926), who had studied the toad for over 15 years and was accused for producing false results when it was discovered that the injections of India ink had been made into the paws of his dmonstration speciments.  
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Letter to whoever finds it:
Dr Paul Kammerer begs not to be brought to his home so that his family might be spared the sight. It would be the simplest and cheapest way to use the body in a dissecting laboratory of a university. This would also be the most agreeable to me since, in this way, I would render science at least a small service. Perhaps my esteemed colleagues will discover in my brain a trace of the qualities they found absent in the expressions of my intellectual activities while I was alive. Whatever happens to the corpse - burial, crematon or dissection - its owner belonged to no religious denomination and wishes to be spared any kind of religious ceremony which would probably be refused to him in any event. This is not animosity against any individual priest who is as human as the rest of us and often a good and noble person.
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......I am astonished. No Chinese will die for this, not to mention to write a suicide note as such.

这一年的冬天真真切切把我们裹起来了，昨天去学校，咬牙切齿了半天也打不开汽车门，好容易哆哆嗦嗦地蜷到座位上，端起放了一宿的咖啡，已成了结结实实的冰块。下车后俩个胖乎乎地小人在路边的冰上搀着走，小心翼翼的。

早上朦朦胧胧中，听见Alan在客厅里面念叨着鹅毛大雪，我爬起来看，一大片一大片，漫天铺地地飘扬飞舞，有些诗情画意。在窗户的这边，我们炖了一锅热腾腾的排骨，把冰箱里所有的肉和各种蔬菜都往里丢，咕嘟咕嘟的叫人口水直流。

托朋友改的文章今天下午终于寄回来，能实实在在地work on it了。文章改起来的确花时间，费这好多功夫表达才慢慢清晰起来。过去读文章总爱挑刺儿，现在看着自己九牛二虎也就弄出这么个不起眼的东西，看来站着说话确实不腰疼。

今天心情明朗很多，老公终于出差回来了。这些天我一人茶饭不思，没精打采的，前天他回来，下午我们一起看了《桃花运》，昨晚又一起上youtube看了可爱的猫猫狗狗，很开心，老公教育我在他不在的时间要学会让自己爽，可我一个人就是很难爽，两个人随便什么都爽。

当然我也同意笑笑的说法，那种对忙碌的依赖。每天中有适当的任务和规律的工作，对于我们这样生活方式的女孩子还是很舒服的。否则就会有点找不着北……当然不是所有女孩都这样，我一闺密就不断渴望远离尘嚣的居家天地，虽一直还未实现。

很快又要去香槟了，期待~~

Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair, I have sought love... because it relieves loneliness-that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss...

还是喜欢一些老歌，那味道和表达情愫的方式已随着时间融化成无意识的舒适感，像与老朋友聊天，也带出那些迟迟不愿谢幕的青春和梦想。比如张学友，刘德华，王菲，那英，小虎队，费玉清，邓丽君。现在的SHE和周杰伦有一些歌也喜欢，但不是每一首的风格都能有感觉。 另，无意中发现这样一首歌，词儿虽写得朴实平淡，听了却是贴近生活。 最想环游的世界 - 梁静茹 - 闪亮的星 作词：姚若龙作曲：郭文贤编曲：陈飞午 聊天是甜蜜的习惯 把心情都交换一天才算完 简单是我要的浪漫 你语气有心疼我就更勇敢 我今天我明天 最想环游的世界 就是你最内心的世界 我后天大后天 也不疲倦的想念 会是你看着我笑的眼 真爱像一座秘密花园 随时有新的发现 得到新的体验 两个人彼此挖掘 再一起比对和回味 然后了解越深 相爱越深转眼就永远 你的背弯像片沙滩 既厚实又柔软能给我心安 阳光在你心里灿烂 从指间传递着总让我温暖 远方像蜿蜒的海岸 从晨光到向晚景色会变换 我们走过万水千山 辛酸会变答案爱是归属感 我今天我明天 最想环游的世界 就是你最内心的世界 管阴天管雨天 我的心会是晴天 照亮你多云的那一面

安静，美丽~
好像最深沉的思绪都诞生在寒冷的地方，像北欧，俄罗斯，中国的北方。